This morning our Chihuahua, Marco, displayed a blatant act of aggression towards one of our other dogs. He snapped at and almost bit one of our yorkie-poos. However, we chose not to reprimand him. Instead, we comforted him and gave him a dog treat, wrapped him in a blanket and put him on our daughter’s lap. Please follow our reasoning below and see if you agree.
First though, keep in mind Chihuahuas get a bad rap. Most people agree with the stereotype that they are nastily, aggressive, little dogs. To this end, our own veterinarian once told us that with all the dogs he’s treated over 20 years, he’s been bitten more by Chihuahuas than any other. However, we don’t agree. We just think he’s prejudiced! After all, stereotypes never have any truth behind them. Never!
You see, Marco is outnumbered 4 to 1. We have 4 yorkie-poos and only one Chihuahua. He is the minority. Naturally, he must feel disenfranchised, marginalized, and picked on because of his breed. After all, his breed originated in Mexico. Our yorkie-poos hail from a much more noble European lineage. Even though all 5 of our dogs were born in Ohio, that doesn’t make them equal. And we’re doing our best to try and make up for the ill treatment that his breed suffered in the impoverished country of Mexico.
Below is a list of things we do for Marco to try and make up for our other dog’s “breed privilege”.
1) Whenever we dine at the table, Marco gets his own plate of the food. The other dogs have to beg for bits and pieces of scraps.
2) Many times, when we go out, Marco gets to come with us while the other dogs remain in a locked pen at home.
3) At night, Marco gets to sleep in my daughter’s clean, comfortable, bed. The other dogs have to sleep on towels in a pen downstairs.
4) Marco gets an extra treat every night before bed. In fact, he has his own bag of designated treats. Understand, this allowance is not based on merit. We are just trying to “level the playing field”. We’re doing this to promote “equity”.
5) As referenced above, Marco is never punished for his multiple bouts of bad behavior. It’s not his fault. Bad things were done to his ancestors. Bad things done by other dogs that may very well have had “yorkie-poo” in their bloodline. And even though the yorkie-poos he’s living with now never mistreated him, their ancestors may have mistreated his ancestors. And even though Marco himself was never mistreated, the fact is that his breed was, and we must make amends. Further, yorkie-poos, and ALL the other breeds, must make reparations for the evils that their great, great, grandparents did to Chihuahuas long ago.
This injustice was so great, that my wife and I started the AOTCB. (The Advancement of the Chihuahua Breed) foundation. We sell shirts and everything! CLM (Chihuahua Lives Matter). We do this to help rid the world of the discrimination that this spirited little breed was made to suffer.
We even went as far as to publish “Chihuahua Only” magazine. The Chi, Chi awards. Chihuahua history month. Chi-teenth. And I’m extremely proud to say there is now CTV. That’s right, you guessed it, a TV station dedicated just to Chihuahuas. Of course, we do add a token German Shepherd or Lab now and then. We don’t want to seem exclusive.
And if this weren’t enough, my wife and I, along with many other sympathizers, have pressured congress into passing a law that, “if you buy more than one dog, that’s not a Chihuahua, the next dog you purchase must be a Chihuahua or at least a Chihuahua mix”. Moreover, there’s actually a quota that has to be met. We did all these things because we want Macro to feel just like all the other dogs. We’re very careful, as we don’t want to do anything that would make him feel any different than any other dog breed.
Moreover, we’re doing all this to help those who own other breeds understand that there’s such a thing as “breed privilege”. In fact, we have courses owners must take if they purchase a majority breed. These courses teach that ALL other breeds are the oppressors, and that ALL Chihuahuas are oppressed. Now we will admit the owners of other breeds simply don’t realize that they have “unconscious bias” towards Chihuahuas. And we’re not saying that they should feel guilty for buying other breeds ….well, actually that’s exactly what we’re saying.
I know what some of you may be thinking. “Hey, they’re all canines. They’re all part of your family. And you should view them in what they have in common and not their differences.” To that we say, No! No! That’s wrong thinking! We need to keep pointing out the differences in breads and keep bringing up how Chihuahuas are different! That’s the only way we’ll get past this injustice. Come On, man!
In conclusion, I sincerely hope you agree and get on board with everything stated, and on how we treat our little underdog, Marco. If you disagree with anything, even in part, you better keep it to your damn self! After all, you don’t want to be labeled a “breedist” do you?? I didn’t think so!