Throughout my life, I was told to pray for my future husband. I attended a Christian college, and it was believed that it was during this time I should have found a husband. My college roommate would pray daily for her future husband. She would cry out to God how wanted her future husband. It became almost an obsession, and she would write in her journal letters to her future husband almost every day.
Now looking back, I wonder why the Christian Church is so threatened to have single women? Why was I told in my mid-twenties that I am not mature because I am not married, nor have kids. I almost feel like it is better to be unmarried with kids? It seems like the church is more accepting towards a single mother than a woman that has never been married. Why do I get asked almost weekly why I don’t have a boyfriend? Why are the only words that I receive are words concerning my future husband and how he will come soon? Why is the church not doing anything for single people? Why do single people have no place in the church? Why does the current church seem to view women who are single as an oddity? In one church the pastor actually to me, “if you find a Christian man jump on it!”
Now in my late 20s, I am defined as having something wrong with me for being single in the church. In my late twenties, there are no small groups for someone my age and if there are they are towards married couples. Church is more oriented towards families, and not addressing the needs of single people, especially those that are later in their twenties or older. Therefore, it seems justified to be single when you are younger, but if you are still single in your thirties and never been married, you are labeled immoral or worse. It seems like the current church is more accepting if you are dating someone even though they might not be right for you. In my opinion, the current church does not recognize soulmates anymore. If you are dating someone and not tempting other married men or women, they are okay with whoever you are dating if you bring them to church. It does not matter about their character or if they are really a Christian or not. I feel because I am single, I am not allowed to participate in the ministry. I feel I there is an “A” label on me, for being single in the current church. This not ott to be. I Cor 7:8 says, “So I say to those who aren’t married and to the windows it’s better to stay unmarried, just as I am.”