Considering our profoundly degenerate culture today, I felt compelled by the Holy Spirit to address this highly controversial subject. No, I’m not referring to the climate change hoax, I’m referring to mothers’ working outside the home. Although admittedly, climate change may have been a less polarizing subject. However, let’s look at things from a secular perspective, a Biblical perspective, and what choices we can make to right the ship.
Do you recall Hillary Clinton’s statement, “it takes a village” to raise a child? You know, she’s correct. Nowadays it does because the traditional roles of the family have changed, and not for the better. One could argue it is the result of inflation. “The rising price level without a corresponding increase in a family’s income causes the wife in the family unit who has chosen to care for her own child at home to leave the nurturing of the children to others in order to seek gainful employment so she can increase the family’s earnings.” (Epperson, 1990, p.243). Just for perspective, the inflation rate in 1990 was 5.4%. As of February 2024, the inflation rate was 3.8%. (tradingeconomics.com, 2024, para.1) It would seem that there’s an economic reason for the mother to work outside the home. But is it worth it? And at what cost?
When a working mother goes out on maternity leave, it’s usually for 6 weeks. That means the mother and child have just 6 weeks to bond. On week 7 the mother passes the baby off to daycare. Then she pumps breast milk on breaks and has someone take the breast milk to the daycare center. It’s unnatural to separate the mother from the child while the mother’s lactating. The whole idea is to keep mother and child together throughout the process. And one would truncate the process, why? For money?
“Mothers working full-time made about $48,000 in 2020 compared to $45,000 for women overall, the NWLC reports. Sep 8, 2022.” (cnbc, 2022) Well, that’s not bad, but what about childcare? The “average weekly daycare cost: $321 (up 13% from $284 in 2022).” (Care, 2024) Now I’m no mathematician by any stretch, but that’s an average of $16,692 per year. If you take the average wage as cited above the mother’s income it would be roughly $31,000 annually. Interestingly though, mothers prior to 1950 rarely worked outside the home.
It was early in the 1950s feminists such as, Gloria Steinem, started pushing women to abandon their role of being their children’s nurturer and primary caretaker to venture out into the workplace. Consequently, their children got passed off to daycare and public education. Strangers, who were not family members, started to meet the physiological needs of other people’s children. However, these substitute proxy mothers were neither willing nor able to meet a child’s emotional and psychological needs; the fallout of which is still reverberating today.
Psychologists tell us that the most formative years for a child are the first five years. “The first five years of child development are crucial to their health, well-being, and overall trajectory of their lives in various ways.” (all4kids.org, Jan 2nd, 2023) When a child doesn’t get to adequately bond with its mother and their emotional and psychological needs go unmet, bad things can happen. “Daycare at a young age can impede secure parent/child relationships and lead to rebellious and aggressive behavior, or shy withdrawn behavior in the preschool and early years” (Epperson, 1990, p.245). “Even Dr. Benjamin Spock, certainly no ‘conservative’ in other matters…” (Epperson, 1990, p.245). Therefore, Dr. Benjamin Spock wrote, “It is stressful for children to have to cope with strangers, with people outside the family’ (Epperson, 1990, p.245). Additionally, many of these emotionally starved and insecure children often make poor choices throughout their lives as the result. Now let’s look at some scripture regarding training of children.
Probably one of the most recognizable Bible verses is Proverbs 22:6, “Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.” (NKJV) One can logically deduce that this training would likely come from their parents. Another verse, that was directed to Israel, is Duet 11:16, “You shall teach them to your children, speaking of them when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up” (NKJV). In context, the Lord was making an explicit warning that the surrounding ungodly culture could lure them away from the commandments of the Lord, and if that happened, he would judge them along with the surrounding wicked nations.
Good or bad, children are being taught something at daycare. However, that’s not their responsibility, it’s ours. Not only does the Word of God teach that we should teach our children the Word and ways of the Lord, but that a godly heritage is to be passed down from one generation to the next.
The following portion of scripture shows how a godly heritage is passed down one generation to the next. This is Paul writing to young Timothy. “I remember your genuine faith, for you share the faith that first filled your grandmother Lois and your mother, Eunice. And I know that same faith continues strong in you.” II Tim 1:5 (NLT)
The above notwithstanding, I believe that most new Christian parents start out by fully intending to raise their children in the “nurture and admonition of the Lord” Eph 6:4 (b) (KJV). As a minister I’ve officiated baby dedications. Many excited, sincere Christian parents eagerly agree to dedicate their babies to the Lord and promise to raise them in the fear and admonition of the Lord. Sadly though, when the pressures of life set in, and other priorities emerge, that fervor often wanes. To keep that from happening certain sacrifices and difficult choices must be made. But before we get into these choices, let’s talk about roles.
I think most believers would agree that the husband is to be the protector and primary bread winner, and that the mother’s primary responsibility is to take care her children and take care of most of the domestic needs of the home. The simple fact is, God made us male and female with certain strengths and weaknesses. Our differences are no accident. And the family functions more efficiently when we work in concert with our natural abilities. The man and woman complement each other. The above notwithstanding, it may be necessary for the roles to change, temporarily. There was a time when I was laid off from my construction job and my wife had to work while I took care of the house and kids. I assure you that I was very motivated to find another job!
Now let’s look at some scenarios and possible choices that may need to be implemented for the sake of our children.
Some mothers actually make more money than fathers, thus they feel it’s necessary for them to work outside the home. Here are some possible options. If the father needs more education to get a better paying job, get the education. Or it may mean that the father pick up a part time job to make up the difference financially so to make it possible for the mother to come home. Moreover, if it’s a financial strain with the children you have, you may want to pray about considering having additional children. However, there are times when the Lord will ask you to have them. Then you have to trust Him to provide. But again, that’s the father’s primary responsibility.
Some other options may be sale the house and buy a smaller house. Or look at ways that you can reduce monthly spending and/or implement a strict budget. I think if we’re honest there are things that we could do without, if needed. I know that’s still true in my life. Another idea is maybe the mother can work a part-time job from home. I knew of a teacher who had 4 kids that worked doing online teaching from her home. And that was long before Covid.
I realize that these, as well as similar tough decisions may be met with some scorn. I believe was JFK that once said, “the truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.” However, some of us will be like an insolent little child when he’s told something he doesn’t like to hear. We put our hands over our ears; “LA! LA! LA! I CAN’T HEAR YOU!!” Or we’ll get away from that person who’s been telling us the truth we know deep down, but we don’t want to hear it. Simply put, a baby needs to be with its mother.
In summary, given today’s extremely decadent culture, and the wickedness across the land we must avoid every ungodly influence upon our children as we possibly can. Nothing should be of greater importance! It may be an inconvenient truth, but our goal should be, I will make every necessary sacrifice to this end. If we do, we can say with John, “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth.” III John 1:4 (KJV)